A new study published in the Journal of Family Psychology disputes the stereotypical portrayal of working women as stressed out, dissatisfied wives who fight more with their husbands. In fact, it showed that a woman who “brings home the bacon” – particularly if her job is demanding and her workload is heavy – has a happier marriage.
The results of the research may be a bit of a shock to some women who feel like they are barely balancing everything on their plate, but the study followed 169 newlywed couples over a period of four years, and the results clearly indicated that the greater the woman’s workload, the happier she felt her marriage to be.
The research, which reveals a surprising relationship between a woman’s feelings about work and marriage, provides insight that may help women make critical career and life choices. There are some valid reasons why a heavier workload might make a woman happier in her marriage, not the least of which might be an escape from household chores.
An increased load at work may indicate the potential for financial security and also provide the woman with a sense of accomplishment outside the home that can increase her sense of self-worth and boost her self-confidence. Those feelings would naturally lead to a more positive overall outlook, including marital happiness.
Women who carry a heavier workload may also benefit from a supportive spouse who pitches in more at home. While there’s a sense of relief that comes from knowing one’s spouse is supportive and helpful, there is also the more internal acknowledgement of the husband’s ability to be domestically dependable.
When a woman has a successful career, she may feel as though the relationship with her husband is on more equal footing as opposed to that of a stay-at home-or underemployed wife who may be at least partially reliant on her husband’s income.
Being apart, bringing home new perspectives to share, and putting quality ahead of quantity when it comes to the amount of time spent together may also foster more positive feelings about marital relations. The woman who is valued in the work place tends to value herself, and her husband may be affected by that as well and value her more.
When couples are trying to determine whether or not a career move is right for their marriage, this study may help them realize that strong, busy career women can still be happy, fulfilled, and satisfied life partners.
I have another idea as to why women with greater workloads have happier marriages: perhaps wives who work have a common ground to share with their husbands, as they can share in each other’s successes (if her husband receives a promotion, a working woman may appreciate what an accomplishment this is b/c she also works) and each other’s complaints (they might be able to offer advice on workplace problems with bosses, coworkers, etc. b/c maybe one has been in a similar situation). Also, I think that if a woman works, she might experience a greater sense of understanding from her husband. For example, a working husband might think that his stay-at-home wife has it “easy.” But if his wife is working, then he can relate to and understand the stress/lack of time/difficulty balancing things that she feels.